Diary of a young dad
For many men to be a father - the most important thing in the world happiness. And if you're a young father, then after you move away from the state of shock you have to play a very responsible and important role. Under the cut you will see the story from the diary of a young and happy father.Ok, let's start with the most ...
I will not describe the process of creating a son in detail, but my wife got pregnant.
know, when she told me the news, as if the world has become richer, there were answers to many questions, and most importantly, you realize that you are now someone needs .. really need it! In fact ... it's all bullshit.
anything I did not think. You do not know how to react to such news. And it can not be prepared. Well at least 24 years.
Here there is a clear and understandable news:
Russian team beat the Dutch team. - It's amazing!
squad team lost to Russia in Uganda. - It sucks!
think that men simply do not have in mind functions to properly respond. It is as if to get my old laptop and try to tell him, "My dear, we will Battlefield 4, what do you think?"
Laptop launch the game and hang tight ... And so I hung out.
The only thing that I got this vague kiss and the question - "Which WMS those vitamins to buy?"
From this day forward information about a child sits in your head, even though you do not know how to use this information.
9 difficult months. male gaze. To start us be clear ...
The gestation period is long over, but I want to stand chronology to get to this and already broadcast of real-time and not remember ...
Though, of course, just around this time, I just do not have the right.
In any magazine, movies and TV shows are always saying how hard being pregnant! But I never heard about how hard it is necessary to their husbands.
And now a few lines about pregnancy from a different angle.
"Salads and fresh"
A pregnant woman should follow a diet and she respects her exactly to "the moment". And "the moment" usually starts with "So, I do not care at all - I want ice cream / burger / chips, potato / pizza / fries / bun / muffin / bun ... Any strict diet does not last more than two hours. It's true.
I do not understand why, but she ate the most junk food. Burger King to give my wife a real crown, not cardboard. Anyway, the word "eat", I would be replaced by "absorbed." Well how do you explain ... Watched "The Hobbit" as dwarves-ravaged home dugout Begginsa Bilbo? So a dwarf constantly ran around our apartment. She gained 20 pounds and snips of Cleves turned into a bun. So I called her and.
Even when it has reached the point where the roll easier than walking, she still regularly reminded me of her pregnancy.
"I can not be nervous,"
I became a criminal, if any thought to drink beer or evening out. Damn. I used to think that I was always able to convince anyone and do what I want. But the argument: "I am very seriously and want you to be hung around next to" just do not find a normal response.Most often, these "stay side by side" happened the day of my corporate party at work and my friends birthdays. And the steeper was planned parties, so suddenly, it became my worst half.
Conclusion
Certainly any woman who has gone through it all could write much more about the difficult moments and read it to say that it was all nonsense, and for women through these 9 months much complicated. And .. she'll be right.
Anyway, these 40 weeks (they all weeks is calculated, not months) were funny enough time, which I gladly did not repeat.
I was always frightened moments in the movie, when a woman begins to give birth. In the movie, always give birth unexpectedly and at the most inopportune moment. And her husband, breaking all rules of the road, taking her to the maternity hospital. Here remember, if a pregnant woman in the film, she will give birth unexpectedly! Seriously, shoots himself shoots bad guys, and then on to you - birth!
I really steamed because I also have to go at breakneck speed, breaking all the rules, to the cries and sighs of my wife. I have no rights, and a taxi - not an option. How's that?
- mug! Urgent! Str. Elan 2!
- Get-go! Road show?
Metro is also not particularly - born still on some "Sviblovo" and never will not forgive me ..
But, in fact, everything was easier, my wife went to the hospital and left it there ... To then husband, headlong, not taking her to the hospital, and calmly came with flowers, as done. Husband was happy with the shuffling.
When a baby was unknown and I went to work. Day she called and said that I was driving in the evening after work, because it will give birth to a campaign. And buy water, said another.
She spoke with such ease of delivery, as if it were a wheelbarrow to go wash - troublesome procedure, but not really. Her calm and transferred me.
gene. Director let me go ahead and spend invigorating look. He was born a year ago, the third child and he always happy and full of energy. He che, some codes knows not understand?
I went to see a friend, and we began to wait quietly. Be one under the windows seemed to me too exciting. Probably wanted to drink, but I felt uncomfortable at the thought of me will go fume when the son sees me for the first time. Sat chatting with a friend, when suddenly started rolling calls. I did not understand and wanted to hear something specific.
- Kot, you can tell me when you're straight start to give birth, so I went.
- You Th, fool?
Birth. Quavering voice, like a schoolboy on the exam, I told a friend that "everything". His head was clearer and he realized that you need to buy flowers.
Tip: Guys, get ready to leave in advance. Never, do you hear, never buy flowers about maternity! Bouquet of daisies sluggish, which has probably wondered, worth 3,500 rubles. It is better to buy an expensive but good, somewhere in advance.
But I was already thinking about then, and as he ran up the stairs, because I had to show her son. Slightly overshadowed guard who deftly stood in my way, and if the King of Westeros, ordered to wear shoe covers.
My son was born, and you and your shoe covers, I thought. But the king did not contradict, and with trembling hands pulled these blue bags.
Tip: Guys, get ready to leave in advance. Never, do you hear, never buy flowers about maternity! Bouquet of daisies sluggish, which has probably wondered, worth 3,500 rubles. It is better to buy an expensive but good, somewhere in advance.
But I was already thinking about then, and as he ran up the stairs, because I had to show her son. Slightly overshadowed guard who deftly stood in my way, and if the King of Westeros, ordered to wear shoe covers.
My son was born, and you and your shoe covers, I thought. But the king did not contradict, and with trembling hands pulled these blue bags.
First there was my wife. She was frazzled. First time I've seen her so tired. I felt very sorry for her and I realized that over the flour they can forgive all the whims during this period. And let them eat tons of ice cream and capricious - it's worth it. A minute later, I rolled out a cart with a child. And in that moment I experienced a real shock. Apparently the brain secretes a particular substance which really starts to "embed". Perhaps it can be synthesized from the drugs. In short, I was in an altered state. At that moment I thought he was very similar to me, although in reality it was more like the rocker cabbage. Kachan looked at me in such a serious adult look that I thought like an ant that looks at the creator. View lasted less than two seconds, but I distinctly remember him.
More of this view for the son I did not notice. There is a belief that children are born sages, like ... Now, looking at the child in my life I do not believe in that stuff, but those two seconds I will remember for a lifetime.
I gave a bouquet of daisies sad wife and doctors, although the money could buy them in the hospital TV. We went back to a friend and already there, I allowed myself a little drink like a pig.
Ahead still two days before they will be discharged. These days I identified her son with something holy. Wife sent me pictures and videos. Two days I lived with the idea that I have to take it in hand. The thought frightened me - he's a saint. After a short time, this feeling quickly evaporates and the holy infant increasingly behaves like brained little shit ... But the day he was born, gave me a new .. like me, too, something born.
More of this view for the son I did not notice. There is a belief that children are born sages, like ... Now, looking at the child in my life I do not believe in that stuff, but those two seconds I will remember for a lifetime.
I gave a bouquet of daisies sad wife and doctors, although the money could buy them in the hospital TV. We went back to a friend and already there, I allowed myself a little drink like a pig.
Ahead still two days before they will be discharged. These days I identified her son with something holy. Wife sent me pictures and videos. Two days I lived with the idea that I have to take it in hand. The thought frightened me - he's a saint. After a short time, this feeling quickly evaporates and the holy infant increasingly behaves like brained little shit ... But the day he was born, gave me a new .. like me, too, something born.
Game names
While my son was waiting for the birth, downloading the latest database information in the abdomen mom, the choice of name seemed to me an exciting game. I easily sketched dozens of names, which seemed to me funny. In the hit sheet and then appeared: Thor, Harry Bruce, James, etc. Generally James Cooper sounds good! And saw him riding on Aston Martin and catchy celestial women alone ... Cooper, James Cooper.
But the nearer the time of birth, the less steel slip any comic book heroes and fighters ... One begins to understand that he has to go to school. With rare name will surely be a tease. And my mighty warrior of Asgard would simply "Thor - ass ax"
I then decided to call Daniel. Well Daniel and Daniel - normal name. Start at school tease, and there such Danil half the class! And combined with the last name. In short, we decided.
But the next day after the birth, I called his wife and said bluntly - "he's not Daniel! Danilo on it is not like ... "
Metallogenium .. Of course it's not like Danilo - it looks like a plum in compote. How did the creation of a weight more than three kilograms can be like a name? How does this logic? Here a child is born - well, exactly like Stas! Oh, well, you look at those eyes - it's Adolf!
I and my wife did not argue ... At Thor's son is also not particularly looked like.
Then she remembered one of the names that were in my stupid lists. Plato. I really do not remember it, but it was so.
I liked the name. Capacious. Strong. Other options were not.
Resolved. Plato.
We generally impulsive couple with his wife. With such a creative registered Plato Cooper, raised him to the rank of humanoid. All documents are now kid. Frankly, I'm looking at it now convoluted name, and ask myself whether all will be fine with my guy?
Just in case, I will give it to boxing since childhood, he tried to stop attacks type Baton Plato or Plato ... Well, you never know what the rhyme comes to mind.
Here are some short dialogues that I remembered:
Veronica (grandmother)
I: Plato
Q: Well, you do not rush with the name-it may even what options there are.
Misha (friend of the family, such as )
M: as named, in the end?
I Plato
M: Hueton no, seriously, how?
Me: (pause) .. Plato
M: Damn, sorry
Lev (grandfather)
I: Plato ...
A: Plato, huh? Well fine! Here, for example, if you want to change the name, it's hard to do?
Gennady Y. (grandfather)
D: and this is not a Jewish name?
I am not
D: approx
do not know, like a name or not. Well if you want to change - let vary. I really believe that a person makes his own name.
In conclusion, call children as you like ... just do not Stas.
While my son was waiting for the birth, downloading the latest database information in the abdomen mom, the choice of name seemed to me an exciting game. I easily sketched dozens of names, which seemed to me funny. In the hit sheet and then appeared: Thor, Harry Bruce, James, etc. Generally James Cooper sounds good! And saw him riding on Aston Martin and catchy celestial women alone ... Cooper, James Cooper.
But the nearer the time of birth, the less steel slip any comic book heroes and fighters ... One begins to understand that he has to go to school. With rare name will surely be a tease. And my mighty warrior of Asgard would simply "Thor - ass ax"
I then decided to call Daniel. Well Daniel and Daniel - normal name. Start at school tease, and there such Danil half the class! And combined with the last name. In short, we decided.
But the next day after the birth, I called his wife and said bluntly - "he's not Daniel! Danilo on it is not like ... "
Metallogenium .. Of course it's not like Danilo - it looks like a plum in compote. How did the creation of a weight more than three kilograms can be like a name? How does this logic? Here a child is born - well, exactly like Stas! Oh, well, you look at those eyes - it's Adolf!
I and my wife did not argue ... At Thor's son is also not particularly looked like.
Then she remembered one of the names that were in my stupid lists. Plato. I really do not remember it, but it was so.
I liked the name. Capacious. Strong. Other options were not.
Resolved. Plato.
We generally impulsive couple with his wife. With such a creative registered Plato Cooper, raised him to the rank of humanoid. All documents are now kid. Frankly, I'm looking at it now convoluted name, and ask myself whether all will be fine with my guy?
Just in case, I will give it to boxing since childhood, he tried to stop attacks type Baton Plato or Plato ... Well, you never know what the rhyme comes to mind.
Here are some short dialogues that I remembered:
Veronica (grandmother)
I: Plato
Q: Well, you do not rush with the name-it may even what options there are.
Misha (friend of the family, such as )
M: as named, in the end?
I Plato
M: Hueton no, seriously, how?
Me: (pause) .. Plato
M: Damn, sorry
Lev (grandfather)
I: Plato ...
A: Plato, huh? Well fine! Here, for example, if you want to change the name, it's hard to do?
Gennady Y. (grandfather)
D: and this is not a Jewish name?
I am not
D: approx
do not know, like a name or not. Well if you want to change - let vary. I really believe that a person makes his own name.
In conclusion, call children as you like ... just do not Stas.
